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3 Most Common Marriage Issues After Baby
Aug
Any relationship takes continuous effort to maintain, however a post-baby relationship is even harder.
Working on your relationship really pays off and the rewards are endless, not only for you and your partner but also for the new member of your family.
Instead of wasting your energy and growing resentful of each other, you will be able to enjoy each other’s company more & raise a healthy little human.
By knowing in advance what the most common issues that can arise after having a baby and how to avoid them, you are setting yourself up for a happy marriage!
So, what are the common issues and what are the solutions?
1. You forget about your title as “husband and wife”
New parents tend to forget about the “husband and wife” title and instead focus on the “mom and dad” title only. Although it’s natural for this at the beginning, unfortunately a lot of couples allow this to become the new norm and you tend to forget about your partner’s needs and the relationship needs.
What can you do?
Now that you are aware of this, make a conscious decision to communicate and do one thing a week you did when you were a couple without your baby
By doing this, it will help bring back the “husband and wife” connection you had beforehand.
Yes, sure it’s changed, but if you are both working together to create a new norm and ensuring you meet each other’s needs, not only will you rekindle the romantic relationship, you will both be better parents as well. .
2. You are no longer number one in the relationship
Before you have your first baby, it’s usually just you and your partner and you always come first. Not anymore! Everything is always about the baby now and they are the center of attention. As crazy as it sounds, some spouses become jealous and even resentful. Not so much jealous of the baby but jealous that they are no longer the number one focus.
So what can you do?
You need to come to an understanding that this is just a chapter of your life and it will not last forever.
Once you become used to your new life with your baby, you may realize that it’s been 6 months since your baby was born and you barely acknowledged your partner.
It’s usually around this time that problems can arise.
It is so critical that you start acknowledging your partner and pay attention to him. This doesn’t mean neglect your baby, it can be simple things like acknowledging him for being flexible, or for working and providing for the family.
If he feels appreciated it will be easier for him to feel valued and continue to be patient and supportive. .
3. Different Parenting Styles
Both you and your spouse are most likely two very different people, which leads to two different parenting styles. This can cause a lot of issues not only in the relationship but also as your baby grows up. Like most parents you are probably sleep deprived, exhausted and overwhelmed with your new identity as “mom and dad”. This will most likely lead to you losing your patience quicker and cause more arguments.
What can you do?
Plan ahead & agree to a parenting style that works for both of you
Nothing is more important than communication in this scenario. If you don’t plan and communicate ahead of time you are probably going in a downward spiral. It is so crucial that both you and your partner be sensitive to each other’s emotions and hear each other out.
By doing this you will be avoiding so many unnecessary arguments and you will both enjoy the parenting journey so much more.
Parenting can be the most challenging yet rewarding role you will ever have in your life.
Your life literally changes overnight and the mistake most couples make is that they want things to be the way they used to be.
It takes conscious effort to realize that things will not be the same and you simply just have to agree what the new norm is for both roles as a “husband and wife” & “mom and dad”.
I challenge you to schedule a date with your partner to discuss this and agree on a new norm for each role.
I promise you, it will be worth your time!
