How to use the 5 Love Languages on yourself

by | Dec 17, 2020

We have all heard the saying “You cannot pour from an empty cup”!

Since becoming a mother I surely felt like my cup was empty plenty of times. Don’t get me wrong, having my daughter was the single most important thing in my life and always will be, but any mum would know it’s hard work and requires your full attention and energy.

So how do you ensure you regularly fill your own cup?

According to Gary Chapman we give and receive love in five different “love languages”. It is important to understand our own love language as well as our partner and kids. 

In this article my focus is on how do you use the 5 Love Languages on Yourself especially when you have a baby or young kids that require so much of your time and attention. Remember you need to fill your own cup so you can “pour into someone else’s cup”

Words of Affirmation:
We sometimes tend to criticize ourselves a lot more than we should and this can have such a negative impact on us.
Start saying kind things to yourself like;

“I did my best today”

Even if you’re not happy with what you have accomplished, you did your best with what you could, given how you felt on this particular day.

“I am enough as I am”

This means that there is no mistake you are who you are, in this place at this time. You are enough as you are, mess and all, beautiful and broken, showing up for your life every day. That’s all you have to be and all you have to do. You’re already enough.
It’s easy to forget that we are doing our best especially after a sleepless night or a day full of tantrums.
It’s also easy to compare and sometimes it can feel like every other parent “has it together” except you.
This is why using this Love Language and saying kind things to yourself can really help and shift your energy.

2. Quality Time;

Make time for yourself.
You can journal, read, meditate or do anything you enjoy and makes you happy
Most mums would cringe and say “I don’t have time for myself”, however consciously decide to “make time” for yourself even for a few minutes.

3. Gifts;

Buy yourself a gift, like flowers, a special treat or a new outfit.
Once we become mums we tend to forget about ourselves and end up buying all the nice things for our baby and kids. Remember you need to feel special too

4. Acts of Service;

Be as dedicated to making life easy and pleasant for yourself as you do for your kids and others. Put some energy into your own dreams and goals (even if they keep changing)

5. Physical touch;

Treat your body with the love that is deserves, listen to it and give it what it needs.
As mums our hands are always full and we sometimes forget how we feel.
What does your body need?
Yoga or Pilates? Massage? Relaxing bath?

How are you going to fill your cup today?

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